While anxiety can be beneficial by helping us stay alert and motivating us to solve problems, most of us probably agree that it can be a dreadful experience. When we are in anxious, we usually are ruminating or worrying about the future. Wasted energy, I say. Worrying about a future event won’t change the outcome, so what can we do instead that is more effective and less distressing?
Mindfulness
A tried and true skill for anxiety is mindfulness. It’s the practice of being fully aware and present in this very moment. How do we do it? Awareness is key!! When you become aware that you are fixated on something that hasn’t happened yet and can’t seem to think about anything else, chances are you’re experiencing anxiety. So, you can stay with those thoughts and drive yourself crazy or anchor your mind back to the moment, which is the only thing that exists and is in our control. What’s an anchor? Anything that can bring you back to the present moment. Focusing on your breath is a common anchor or bringing awareness to exactly what you’re experiencing through your senses. I will emphasize that mindfulness is a PRACTICE and can be hard in the beginning and/or when emotions are high; however, with learned practice, you will soon realize that you can control the mind rather than it controls you.
Acceptance
Years ago, I was at work and received a voicemail from my boss that he wanted to talk to me about the program for which I was the director. Immediately, I called back and was told he wouldn’t be available for another 2 hours. I was stricken with panic. My mind went to “oh my God, I’m getting fired.” And as most of us know, intense emotions bring strong urges that usually make the situation worse when acted upon. My impulse was to leave work and ball my eyes out. If I abruptly left work, that would get me fired. I was in crisis, and we are not thinking straight when we are in crisis. So, I recalled the DBT skill of ACCEPTS, which are distraction techniques that can get us past acting on these urges. I got through it, and it was tough, but once you realize that urges are time-limited and you’re not at the mercy of your emotions, it’s victorious. By the way, I didn’t get fired; he just wanted to discuss printing more workbooks.
Radical Acceptance
Radical Acceptance is one of my all-time favorite skills! When we don’t accept our reality, we suffer. When we don’t accept our emotions and block or push them away, they become stronger, and we suffer. Rather than judging yourself for feeling anxious, accept that it’s there by acknowledging it and be more curious about why it showed up. Emotions can provide some precious information; for example, anxiety can tell you what you need to do to be a stronger or more satisfied individual. Also, by accepting it, you can often figure out a solution.
The three skills above have changed my life and many of my patients. I hope you are inspired to take control of your anxiety. Anxiety treatment and management really work!
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